Pickle Named Nose and Onion lived in a glass jar on the second shelf of a refrigerator on Lexington Avenue. Onion was warm-natured and liked to sit down a lot. He really enjoyed living in the cool brine made from vinegar and sugar. His favorite activity was watching the mold grow on cheese.
Pickle Named Nose liked adventure. He wanted to travel and see the world. He often daydreamed of being a bus driver on a big city route and stopping for spaghetti and croutons on the way home from work.
Pickle Named Nose had a great idea.
“Hey Onion, I have a great idea”, said Pickle Named Nose.
“Oh no”, sighed Onion.
You see, Pickle Named Nose was famous for having "great ideas" – like the time he took Steve Pegram, the eighty-pound Lab for a walk with Jellyfish and Toaster - or when he insisted that he and Onion fly a helium balloon to celebrate Melana Melor’s second birthday.
Onion pleaded, "Oh c'mon man, I just want to stay at home today and maybe go swimming in the Kool-Aid or something. I don't want to hear anything about any great ideas. I don't want to go on any adventures. Can't we just hang out here with the Lemons today?"
Pickle Named Nose appeared to give Onion’s plea the utmost consideration. He gazed thoughtfully upward wearing his thinking face. After considerable time, Pickle Named Nose became suddenly animated and yelled, "Here comes the Mom to get milk for the Cheerios. It's now or never!"
And with that Pickle Named Nose bounced off the sponge cake, slid down the soup tureen and wriggled across the raspberry Jello to the bottom shelf of the fridge and flopped out onto the kitchen floor like a flounder on a fish boat.
"C'mon Onion", he whisper-yelled. "Let's go!"
Onion was reluctant to go on any adventures with Pickle Named Nose. But he was even more reluctant to let Pickle Named Nose go on any adventures without him. Onion had rescued him from certain disaster more than once and today was a day just like any other day.
Onion, being more wide than tall, was not as athletic as Pickle Named Nose, who was more tall than wide. He slipped on the rim of their jar and dropped like a rock toward the floor.
Hitting the floor at full speed from the second shelf would've been unpleasant, but just as he was almost there, the Mom shut the refrigerator door, squishing him which was even more unpleasant.
Onion made a noise like, "Pffft" and leaked some juice on to the floor.
The Pop came in and immediately questioned, "Why is the refrigerator door opened?" This type of question customarily went unanswered as the Pop looked around inquisitively with his hands turned up and eyebrows raised.
Pickle Named Nose used this opportunity to pull Onion from sight under the fridge with the Dust Bunnys. They both knew they could not make the slightest sound. They didn't even breathe.
You see, if the Pop saw any food unattended or not in its container, he would eat it immediately, and ask questions later. They knew that to a Pop, a pickle goes perfectly well with cereal and that a little thing like dust and hair on a squished onion was scarcely an inconvenience. They had even heard of some bizarre urban legend called the three second rule.
Just then the Pop stepped in the onion juice, which soaked thoroughly into his sock. He muttered some language that Pickle Named Nose and Onion could not understand and then slowly closed his eyes while lowering his head. He slowly shook his head in defeat, making a noise like Lurch, then turned and went back to bed.
Onion regarded the Dust Bunnys, who were a bit uneasy about the unexpected intruders during their breakfast. Onion pat Little Baby Dust Bunny on the nose and said, “Good morning, Little Baby Dust Bunny.” Mrs. Dust Bunny tried to smooth things over by asking, "Would you two like to join us for breakfast?"
Onion immediately shook his head up and down, while Pickle Named Nose quickly scrutinized the breakfast items: a big bowl of dust and side dishes of hair and dead skin, and apparently a bug leg for dessert. “Uhhhh, no thanks... We’re off on another adventure!”
The Mom and Melana Melor were ready to walk out the door for Briar Rose Home Nursery. Luckily for our adventurers, the back door was right next to the refrigerator.
Pickle Named Nose was poised in sprint position, ready to run like the wind at a moment's notice. He knew that the screen door had an Old Spring with a bad disposition that would slam prematurely on anybody that pretended they weren’t in a constant state of urgency. He knew that the Mom would not politely hold the door open for a pickle or an onion. He also knew that if he didn’t hold on to his hand, Onion would get squished like a Grape. Again.
The thick wooden door was opened, and Pickle Named Nose was set to strike. The Mom stopped to zip up the child’s knitted sweater and put on her knitted cap. Melana Melor looked down and seeing Pickle Named Nose and Onion off on another adventure giggled and made a snort like a pig. Onion looked back with wide eyes, smiled and waved his fingers with his hand right next to his face.
Then the screen door moved, and Pickle Named Nose shot through Melana Melor’s feet in a serpentine pattern like an Olympic ice skater, dragging Onion wildly behind him. He frantically searched for a hiding place lest they be discovered by the Mom.
They hid securely behind Sarah the Cat’s food bowl, Pickle Named Nose panting dramatically for effect.
Pickle Named Nose liked adventure. He wanted to travel and see the world. He often daydreamed of being a bus driver on a big city route and stopping for spaghetti and croutons on the way home from work.
Pickle Named Nose had a great idea.
“Hey Onion, I have a great idea”, said Pickle Named Nose.
“Oh no”, sighed Onion.
You see, Pickle Named Nose was famous for having "great ideas" – like the time he took Steve Pegram, the eighty-pound Lab for a walk with Jellyfish and Toaster - or when he insisted that he and Onion fly a helium balloon to celebrate Melana Melor’s second birthday.
Onion pleaded, "Oh c'mon man, I just want to stay at home today and maybe go swimming in the Kool-Aid or something. I don't want to hear anything about any great ideas. I don't want to go on any adventures. Can't we just hang out here with the Lemons today?"
Pickle Named Nose appeared to give Onion’s plea the utmost consideration. He gazed thoughtfully upward wearing his thinking face. After considerable time, Pickle Named Nose became suddenly animated and yelled, "Here comes the Mom to get milk for the Cheerios. It's now or never!"
And with that Pickle Named Nose bounced off the sponge cake, slid down the soup tureen and wriggled across the raspberry Jello to the bottom shelf of the fridge and flopped out onto the kitchen floor like a flounder on a fish boat.
"C'mon Onion", he whisper-yelled. "Let's go!"
Onion was reluctant to go on any adventures with Pickle Named Nose. But he was even more reluctant to let Pickle Named Nose go on any adventures without him. Onion had rescued him from certain disaster more than once and today was a day just like any other day.
Onion, being more wide than tall, was not as athletic as Pickle Named Nose, who was more tall than wide. He slipped on the rim of their jar and dropped like a rock toward the floor.
Hitting the floor at full speed from the second shelf would've been unpleasant, but just as he was almost there, the Mom shut the refrigerator door, squishing him which was even more unpleasant.
Onion made a noise like, "Pffft" and leaked some juice on to the floor.
The Pop came in and immediately questioned, "Why is the refrigerator door opened?" This type of question customarily went unanswered as the Pop looked around inquisitively with his hands turned up and eyebrows raised.
Pickle Named Nose used this opportunity to pull Onion from sight under the fridge with the Dust Bunnys. They both knew they could not make the slightest sound. They didn't even breathe.
You see, if the Pop saw any food unattended or not in its container, he would eat it immediately, and ask questions later. They knew that to a Pop, a pickle goes perfectly well with cereal and that a little thing like dust and hair on a squished onion was scarcely an inconvenience. They had even heard of some bizarre urban legend called the three second rule.
Just then the Pop stepped in the onion juice, which soaked thoroughly into his sock. He muttered some language that Pickle Named Nose and Onion could not understand and then slowly closed his eyes while lowering his head. He slowly shook his head in defeat, making a noise like Lurch, then turned and went back to bed.
Onion regarded the Dust Bunnys, who were a bit uneasy about the unexpected intruders during their breakfast. Onion pat Little Baby Dust Bunny on the nose and said, “Good morning, Little Baby Dust Bunny.” Mrs. Dust Bunny tried to smooth things over by asking, "Would you two like to join us for breakfast?"
Onion immediately shook his head up and down, while Pickle Named Nose quickly scrutinized the breakfast items: a big bowl of dust and side dishes of hair and dead skin, and apparently a bug leg for dessert. “Uhhhh, no thanks... We’re off on another adventure!”
The Mom and Melana Melor were ready to walk out the door for Briar Rose Home Nursery. Luckily for our adventurers, the back door was right next to the refrigerator.
Pickle Named Nose was poised in sprint position, ready to run like the wind at a moment's notice. He knew that the screen door had an Old Spring with a bad disposition that would slam prematurely on anybody that pretended they weren’t in a constant state of urgency. He knew that the Mom would not politely hold the door open for a pickle or an onion. He also knew that if he didn’t hold on to his hand, Onion would get squished like a Grape. Again.
The thick wooden door was opened, and Pickle Named Nose was set to strike. The Mom stopped to zip up the child’s knitted sweater and put on her knitted cap. Melana Melor looked down and seeing Pickle Named Nose and Onion off on another adventure giggled and made a snort like a pig. Onion looked back with wide eyes, smiled and waved his fingers with his hand right next to his face.
Then the screen door moved, and Pickle Named Nose shot through Melana Melor’s feet in a serpentine pattern like an Olympic ice skater, dragging Onion wildly behind him. He frantically searched for a hiding place lest they be discovered by the Mom.
They hid securely behind Sarah the Cat’s food bowl, Pickle Named Nose panting dramatically for effect.
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